just time and silence

I wrote this after reflecting about my Dad’s death.
In the darkest of the day my memories flow like a river over the stones of time. And now all of the words have been said and there are no fences to be mended. Soon it will be fall and the colors of a flame will be ever present on the maples. There are no answers and there are not even questions, just time and silence. The quiet is that of a late summer morning before the sun has started to turn the sky pink. There is just the faint hum of an occasional insect in the distance mourning the end of the night. It is as if you are in a skiff that is slipping over the horizon. I could see you smile and wave as you do so. When I see you again I will be smiling and waving at my family as I slip over the horizon and there you will be with the One, the One that I long to see. And so life moves forward. Did life change? No. Did our lives change? Yes, but not of sadness or a sense of loss but a sense of hope that at some time in the future we will meet again at the gate and we will be joined together because of sacrifice. Not your sacrifice or mine, not the hardships we endured but the sacrifice of the One who looked like all the others and walked the dirt roads of a far away land. He suffered for each of us that in the end we would be reunited at a gate like no other, we will not only be with one another but with Him the ONE that sacrificed all for each of us.

Alive

Fishing rough in the Smokies last week. 42 degree water and limited hatches. Things are looking up here though a few warm rains and bright sun, we should be in business soon.
I have come to the realization that I have a great and Blessed life. The Almighty has provided for me the best of what this world has to offer. A beautiful wife and 3 great kids, friends like Christ had (they are fisherman of the finest sort and men that are committed to my family as I am to theirs) fine fly rods and good dogs. I watch a young man about my age speak recently and he is dying of cancer, he said something very profound. All gifts are from God and they are all good including his cancer. The cancer had made him better, a better husband, dad, worker and boss. As I saw it a few years ago when I laid dying of an unknown infection or years ago when I suffered from encopresis for nearly two decades, those things were not a gift but a burden. I can now see that they were gifts, gifts of tools to better me and my life. What I wondered about as I listened to this man was things will change and they are gifts not burdens. As I spoke with a friend last evening we commented on how good life is but it will changes our friends will have to move away, will get a chronic or depilating disease or possible die. The conclusion we can to “Is that we are “ALIVE”” and we must live as though we are.
If we are “Alive” why do we watch the news? Why do we care about the troubles in the government or the latest scandal out of Hollywood? I want to care about, if they are catching fish one #14 gnats or #10 woolly buggers. I want to care about what is fresh from the garden and when can I sit on the porch and hold my wife’s hand. I want to care if my kids are doing the “right” thing and their walk with God is where it should be. If we are “Alive” alive in Christ why then do we live in fear and frustration? Why do we fear the government, policies, taxes and the war that rages around us? In the movie “Life is Beautiful” the Dad protected his son from the world at war, do we do that? Do we allow God to protect us from the world warring against us? No we go to the fence and watch the war raging and sometimes we venture in to get a taste of battle. Why not taste Freedom, God the Almighty has given us freedom from the world. I want to run free in the freedom that God has given us. To do that I must lay down my pride, you know the type, the type that says I can handle this or I have made myself successful. I lay my fear and my pride at the feet of the King and go and run FREE. Free from the hassles of life. To be free doesn’t mean things won’t change and that things won’t be rough, what it does mean is that God sits on the throne and that we are not the dog in the fight but the dog on the porch in the shade.

What If...?

Fishing should start soon. Wow it has been a long winter. By the way we may start tapping some maples this weekend for the golden goodness that is Maple Syrup.
I have been challenged this week, well actual the last several weeks. Reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan for a second time I am finding it hard to feel good about my mediocrity. We just finished discussing Chapter 7 which talks about our comfort level here in western society. So here is the challenge; I am I so comfortable here in the Midwest that I don’t want to serve elsewhere or moreover too comfortable to Go Home (Heaven). My life is easy by any standard; you may take a peek and say it is not compared to how some live here in the States but I would disagree. I got up this morning drove a nice car 40 miles to work, came into a warm building with nicer amenities than my home and I get paid to sit and work. I have a beautiful, caring, awesome wife, great kids and a refrigerator full of food. There is clean water and a flush toilet in my house as a matter of fact two toilets. There is a satellite dish that receives a signal from outer space that allows me to watch anything I want while sitting in my warm, safe house. You get the point, life is easy here in America. I enjoy my life every day and the Lord has blessed us but that makes things more difficult. Do I “want” for anything? NO! Sure I want things but I don’t want for anything. Ok so here it is; Do you, I trust God enough to leave this life and serve in Asia where you live on a dollar a day? Or how about serving in a country where you are forbidden to be a Believer? Or maybe the worst could you serve in a country where “God is Dead”, you know a country where they have walked away from God all together but still enjoy all that this world has to offer. The greatest question is this if God came to you right now and said “It is time to come home and sit down at the table with Me”, would you try to talk Him into letting you stay just a little longer? I love my wife and my kids and want to be here with them until I am very old. I want to enjoy the teen years and seeing them spread their wings and become Men and Women of God. I want to hold my wife’s hand as we walk our youngest down the aisle, I want to hold my grandchildren in my arms and enjoy vacations with all of them, and sit around a campfire telling of the adventures we’ve had. But if today God came and said “Time to go”, I have settled it in my heart that He can take care of them much better than I and if my Father in Heaven wants me in His house then I know that is where I need to be. What a challenge it is to write this. To say you Love God more than this life is easy. To say that you will give up all for God is a little harder, but to realize that giving up all is ALL, EVERYTHING, well that is another thing all together.