UNWINDING

Please take a moment to watch this film it is good for your soul.

I am not sure where to start (I have start and rewritten this several times and let it sit for several days). One person dead, that is horrible and sad, one person put through the ringer along with his family by the media that is sad ( he thought and reacted out of fear that I believe was driven by cultural assumptions), a nation that cannot judge a person based on character alone, sad, a media that just wants to pit one group against another, sad. Were these events black versus white, young versus old, the “haves” versus the “haves not”, no. Above all it was the collapse of the family, more over the collapse of a culture that does not teach and encourage men to raise their boys to grow up and be men. Not men like in the media which are either portrayed as blundering fools or as men with no self-control with women, violence, or anger. Where is the question of why this young man (not boy even thought that is the image we were given by the media, he was 17 years old and the size and strength of a grown man) was where he was? Did anyone look into his past? Who raised this young man? Was there a man in his life that showed him how to be a man of integrity? From all that I have read he was staying at his father’s girlfriend’s house because of several incidents at his former high school. Did he have the right to be where he was, definitely he did. Was he dress in clothes that may have brought to mind gang members or thugs the way the media portrays constantly it sure sounds like it (thank you media for helping to stereotype a whole group of our society). Did the older man react out of fear, probably? Why because it looked to him like all of the images he had seen in the media, did that make is reaction right? No I don’t think so but it makes it somewhat understandable. The media has assumed the role of stereotyping commission, judge and jury. We need to step up and raise our kids and love our wives, restore our families. We as the men of this society have dropped the ball our boys grow up and are drawn away from integrity and honor and flow toward what the media tells us is a man. Does this give a pass to the man who took another life, no. Does this make the young man at fault, no not totally? Where does the blame lie? Nowhere and everywhere. Fear and anger played a role on both sides I assume, no one was there to know what really happened. Should the older man should better judgment I think the answer is probably yes and the young man could have reacted differently also. I have been involved in an armed confrontation (everyone walked away thankfully) but I will tell you your inner person kicks in to high gear, adrenaline and fight or flight kicks in and it doesn’t matter if the other person is black, white, Latino or Asian your “heart” has nothing else on its agenda but to stay alive and protect what was mine. Was that situation scary, you bet? It terrified my kids and wife but I had to defend them from a threat that seemed that it would not back down without force. I don’t think we can judge the heart of anyone in this case; when you are under that kind of stress you truly don’t know what you are capable of. I don’t think for a minute anyone reading this can say “well I would not ever do…”. It is not about race, it is about the "cultures" we have in our country and what they teach to our children. We have let others tell us it is about race, no it is about integrity and fear. This week is our county fair and there are white, black, biracial, Hispanic and Asian kids involved and attending. No one is making comments about race when a black child wins or when a white child wins or loses for that matter. I realize we are more rural than urban but the values in our county are driving a culture of respect and integrity that our children get from nearly everyone that are involved in their activities, there is no fear because someone looks different. The issue is not black or white or favoritism based on race; that is one of the symptoms of a culture that no longer sees value in both parents raising their kids and helping raise the kids of their friends and neighbors. The media has perpetuated the stereotypes both in the news and film and even in the games that the kids play, (all violence all the time). Even a "good guy" is not completely good there are always shades of darkness and violence in the way they get "justice". Is it any wonder that our kids and greater still our society struggles with good and bad, integrity and honor, violence and fear and how to feel safe in a given situation (violence is not the answer except in a rare occurrence). The discussion here is interesting and I am not sure that I agree or disagree with everything. What I do know is that the discussion is about the symptoms and outcomes of a society that is giving up on values that matter when you raise kids, especially boys that grow to be men.

Great Art

Check out Joel's work great art! Year on the Fly

an old gun and a young boy

In my family shotguns and fall mornings went together like pancakes and sausage. This past fall I had the pleasure to take both my sons (Liam 15 and Kohl 13) to a Pheasants Forever Youth Hunt in Central Indiana. My boys got to enjoy shooting clays and learning about not only pheasant hunting but the hunting tradition. The day was capped off by each boy getting to go to the field with a guide, a dog and dog handler after two planted birds. As a parent I got to watch from the clubhouse as the events unfolded, what an exciting thing to watch. My oldest son was hunting with my grandfather’s 12 gauge Ranger. My dad had passed away the previous summer and I was blessed to receive this shotgun, I had long admired it for its history and beauty. The history of this gun was quite a story; when my Grandfather was about 12, had sold a prized 4H hog so he could purchase the Ranger from Sears and Roebuck, he ordered from the local catalog store. Shortly after receiving the gun he came down with the mumps and was in bed for quite a while, but he put the time to good use. Grandpa hand checkered the stock and forearm slide, he also inlaid a maple checkerboard pattern in the stock and added some maple inlays on the bottom of the stock, and as a final touch impressed two copper insignia (one with his name and the other his hometown) one on each side of the stock. At the end of the day we took pictures and then I told my boys the story of the shotgun. That Ranger is nearly 90 years old and has been used in the field for nearly 9 decades. Tears filled my eyes as I told this story to my boys, they never met my Grandpa and never hunted with my Dad but somehow I felt they were there with us in the field that day.